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Disc Golf Excuses
Feel free to use these when you are
playing golf.
E-mail me at the bottom of this page with your
favorite excuses.
Bad throw "My talent........It comes naturally
Overshooting a putt "I could have made it, but I'm allergic to putting"
had to pee...I swear my bladder was gonna EXPLODE! But the deed is done
(After you spill water on your zipper)
This wind is INSANE! I've never seen anyone throw one into the men's room
before, that's gotta be OB.
That was off my boob!!
FOCUS ON A CHAIN!! (missed putt) you were focusing on the wrong chain!
Who trimmed the tree? that's bullshit, no one should mess with the course!
Had I gotten high on hole three, none of this would have happened!!
I might have a better score if someone would play by the rules! I get thirty
seconds of silence!! ALL IM ASKING FOR IS THIRTY FUCKING SECONDS! ITS IN THE
RULES GODDAMMIT!!!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!
Hey man, that's a good shot on any other hole!
That's a new tree. Must have planted it last week. (after hitting a 100 foot
oak)
That's the last time I'm showing you how to shank it.
What!!..you guys don't play with the 10 foot rule!!?? (after driving into a
tree less than 10 feet away)
" Is that tornado coming this way?!" "Naw, we can keep throwin!"
Mentality - Find your chi
and you will find the basket.
Reality - I lost my chi.
your lucky that we're not playing at my
course because I would be crushing you!
Your'e just lucky I can't putt
I'm not really keeping track of my score right now
I'm still learning that disc
If I was 22 and could practice 5 days a week I could throw like that too
I used to be able to throw that shot...back in the day
Man, you coulda told me it starts going downhill after the basket. I
wouldn't have thrown a roller. (La Mirada)
Did they design this course with fairways? If I could just get my baseball
to go straight I could kill here. (Cape Henlopen)
Oh, they moved the basket? I was playing to the other pin position
(everywhere)
You know, this hole would be a lot easier if I was a rightie.
There paying me to landscape today. (after hacking a bush)
I've got a 600'
roller-----------But it only works on 300' holes
Gotta change my mini
Got the nose up on that
one...
I just had my nipples pierced.
I would have shot a lot better if I had thrown better.
I've thrown some great shots in the wrong direction.
I could've thrown better if you let me throw before the wind picked up.
I don't know why I threw that disc......I HATE THAT DISC !!
I sneezed...
I farted...
I was trying to play the wind, but it died down
I played really well except for the trees....
The disc can't handle all the power I'm giving it.
My shoes are loose.
These sleeves are too thick.
I thought that arrow meant out-of-bounds.
It was spinning too fast.
I really should throw as hard as I can.
That is soo deep in the woods, I might run into the Blair Witch!
Where's the course?
My nails get in the way.
I hit the right spot, but threw it too hard.
I've got to get a better disc. I couldn't have thrown it any better.
I think it might be the disc.
I don't have my normal disc. That's my Wrightwood disc.
I haven't thrown that disc in 3 years.
These are my tournament discs and I have no idea what they are going to do.
I should’ve worn briefs. Boxers just ride up my crack and distract me.
Clearly the sun is having an adverse affect on my glow disc.
This course is completely different when the mow the grass (Druid Hill)
I really did slip right before I released (Kinder Park)
Jeez, I think my disc landed in a new zip code. (Everywhere)
You better kiss that tree and make up to it (Seneca)
I can't believe I threw the wrong disc again (Everywhere)
That airplane completely distracted me (Calvert)
If they had not left the house in the middle of the fairway I coulda been famous (Rockburn)
So close but sooo far (Everywhere)
Whoever designed this course was on crack!
Whoever designed this course was a masochist (Brandywine)
Dude, I lost my disc in the moon (Nighttime at Paw Paw)
The barometric pressure is making my discs fly crazy.
I can't play when my shoes are wet.
Ummm.....I play better after I have eaten lunch.
I've only been golfing 12 years, give me some time I'll get better.
I really should have apologized to that first tree I hit... it's got family.
These damn trees have disc magnets in 'em.
This heat making my disc less stable.
It's dry!! ( Disc stuck in tree.)
I am too high to play. :D
I am not high enough. :D
damn beers!
The sunblock is burning my eyes.
Did you see the size of that chicken?!
I am just here to make you guys look good.
If my girlfriend hadn't wished me "Good Luck," before I left I would be having a great game.
I like my upshots to be a challenge (after a crappy drive)
I like my putts to be a challenge (after a crappy upshot)
I like to buy you guys beer (after a crappy putt)
If they would have mowed the weeds this week, my disc would've skipped right up to the basket.
Oh man, I must have hit a gravity gradient.
Oops, I wanted the primary fade, not the secondary.
I've got sunscreen in my eyes.
My disc needs sanding; it's too roughed up.
Maybe if I didn't have my thumb up my a**...
Anybody got a stamp? I am ready to mail it in.
We have a first timer over here.
That looked good...... Until you threw it!
Great throw man...... You're right up there by me!
You sure these are all par 3s?
I would be a great player if I could only throw straight.
Got It (after hitting a tree solid)
Are you kidding me! I never do that
That's Hoooorible
Wow Sucks to be you
Is it possible to play a round at Morley without hearing the word "FORE " ?
You better move your car , that's where I'm throwing at.
How come there is only 8 positions for this hole?
I didn't throw that one, I was just getting it out of my hand.
I hit my tit/stomach on the way out!
All fingers... (hard shank to the right)
PULL!!!!! (drive with about 80 degrees of loft, skeet shooting reference)
Jupiter 2... ( long hard glide into a nasty place)
STEVELAND...(any shot about 70 degrees or more to the left, to an area no one has ever played from before...)
%##$%#&$ ...( fill in you own word here)
QUIET!!! We're having a Tournament over here!!! (normally yelled at the top of our lungs at pretentious, know-it-all, gods-gift to the game of
Disc Golf, _ _sholes, who take the game WAY too seriously and can't handle people who are playing just for the fun of the game.)
It's the damn tee pad!!!
Don't ever talk to my disc!!
My throw was absolutely perfect, but the basket was put in the wrong place.
The air is soo heavy, it won't let me get my disc up.
A good excuse is as good as a par.
I need some cheese with that whine.
Did you feel that? The gravity's bad here!
I'd putt better with a trash can lid.
Don't talk to me. Nobody talk to me.
Well, the game has never been the same since we stopped playing with pie tins.
Actually, that's how you want to approach this hole. Really.
I have a Lightning disc that is way overstable.....My best roller disc..
When is the best time to play here?
Hey you....call your dog away from my disc.......son of a %$@~*^......
You know.......I can't think of a good reason why I'm playing so well
Dude, that shot was perfect till it hit the tree!
That tree wasn't there last round.
The sun was in my eyes.
*%#$ Mach 1 baskets. It would have stuck in a Mach 3.
It's too hot/cold to play well today.
I didn't mean to throw THAT disc.
Did you "see" that wind?
You know, I bet if I practiced I would be awesome.
I've been suckin' ever since I got this new watch.
I know I don't have a witness, it was still my best score, honest.
That's not an excuse, that's a reason.
We suck.
Dude!
Hey Man! You had that one if it hadn't of bounced out.
I would have played alot better if I would have played with someone that didn't suck as much as you.
I meant to hit that tree, it just bounced the wrong way.
The crows stole my disc!
Did you see that Koala grab my disc!
The tree moved in front of my disc....no really.
el Nino
I forgot to brush my teeth this morning, it's screwing me up.
My shoes aren't tied tight enough.
I knew I should have worn my other cleats.
My other golf bag brings me better luck.
No dude, that was not mud you stepped in before you drove.
I have to bet how much?
Why do I have to always play in that division?
I always play better wearing that color T-shirt.
I can't believe I only have 8 cyclones left in my bag today... What am I going to throw?
Just a Glow mini, what do you mean just a glow mini?
You know if I just buy 7 more avair putters today, I can play.
Can I see your golf towel, I have something on my shoe.
The tournament hasn't started yet, I still have 30 seconds to drive.
I won't be able to play today because I have the wrong color Disc Golf bag.
Why does the weather have to be so perfect?
I'm sorry you hit the tree so hard. Would you like some hot sauce with that taco?
If I didn't throw it that hard it wouldn't have gone so far past it. RIGHT?
Do you have another Blow-fly disc on you, mine sticks to much.
Aliens took my favorite disc for a test drive & haven't returned!
Drew was in my group.
"I didn't know my Magnet was a tree-seeking device!"
Plastic is incompatible with my carbon-based life form.
The hole was in that spot yesterday.
I SUCK!!!
The dog got ahold of my disc.
Someone used my disc for an ash tray and melted holes into it. Now it won't fly right.
I ate McDonalds before my round, it felt like 20 lb. turd following around all 19 holes.
My friend was to close to me and he had a very loud movement that shocked me .. Wow!
If I have to climb a tree, and scratch myself, it ruins the rest of my game.
My %$#*!@& hair got in my eyes!!
"If there's a tree around, I'll find it."
"If I climb up the tree and play the disc from there, do I still have to take a penalty?"
"Did you see that squirrel? He grabbed my disc and put it up in the tree."
Oh well, what's a double bogey among friends.
Whoops did I throw a doily instead of a disc?
Look at the busted chain!! No wonder my disc went out the other side!
" I didn`t throw that! "
1st: I can never play good with that guy, he`s always talking.
2nd: Somebody talked to my disc.
You said try my ANHYZER, Ok, I thought you said Anheiser, I finished off the case.
Sorry too much wind on my course.
"I should have trimmed my fingernails 2 days ago, instead of yesterday."
"My callous is starting to rip."
"I'm getting too used to my glow discs, now I can't throw my day discs."
Oh - that's the hole? I was throwing for the one next to where my disc landed.
Extreme case of grip lock.
Water/Mud in front of the tee pad.
Didn't expect it to skip THAT far. (when posthole is under big pines.)
I'm weak....
My fingers slipped, I'm double jointed don't you know.
I accidentally threw it that way because I'm dyslexic.
My discs got too cold in my car and it affected the plastic.
My dog chewed on that disc, so it always flies funny.
Did you see that? What was that? What the hell was that?
I think I was having a flashback when I was throwing.
My foot snagged on that stick... that one... right there !!!!!
The Summer Solstice always does that to my drives.
That bird distracted me..... well, it's not there anymore. It flew away.
Ever since I threw that disc in the water, it hasn't flown right.
I don't believe it........ WINDSHEAR !!!!!!!!!
The disc must have hit a low-pressure air pocket.
I slept on my throwing arm last night.
I was hexed when I went to New Orleans.
They screwed up at McDonalds and gave me decaf......
I really didn't want to play today, anyway.
I had no shot, I was surrounded.
If there is a tail wind I can play these holes really good.
That was in but the wind knocked it down.
If I would have thrown my Cyclone I would have had a birdie.
I shouldn’t have thrown a 150 gram disc in this wind.
That’s kinda crazy don’t you think.
I’m still recovering from the weekend.
You got lucky with that branch.
I’ve got sap on my disc.
That’s the 1st time I rolled that disc.
If I had my good blue disc.
I put way too much spin on that one.
I can’t see in the dark.
It would have been a birdie if it would have kept on going.
I think I’m exhausted today.
I hit my hand.
I’m too exhausted from stair climbing.
The air is so dry I could hardly breathe.
My shoulders are sore.
If it would have hit the dirt, I would have been there.
I would have had a good drive if it hadn’t gone left.
All I had to do is clear one limb... Don’t know how I hit it.
When the wind changes direction, it really affects me.
I turned my hand over at the last second.
That was such a low ceiling, I should have gotten on my knee.
All I had to do is clear the hill.
I don’t think I ever landed back here.
Now, I have a tree in my way.
I can’t see the, the sun is in my eyes.
The winds knocking them straight down.
You guys got me all stressed out.
I should have taken my sunglasses off.
I can’t play in a head wind.
If it weren’t for that rock I would be right there.
It’s a big disadvantage to throw 150 gram discs against the wind.
It’s those big bushes... otherwise I could throw straight though.
I would have gotten a birdie with my regular drive.
I didn’t have my favorite disc.
CONTRIBUTORS
Mike Pelamati
Doug Tuttobene
Ronnie Warren
Jennie Banta
David Gavel
Chad Lukes
Shawn Hardeman
Denny B
Steve Foster
Mike Gentilucci
Craig Staples
Zach Walker--AZDGC
Mike Ocon
S Talbot
Erica "the lovely EJB"
Lawrence McCourt
Stephanie Duarte
Lance McWilliams
John Steele
Cooper Baker
Scott Hay
Ping Pong
Bill Richards
Szabolcs Szafko
Doug Tuttobene
Ron Katz
Matthew Pettit
Bob Ackerman
Daniel Lawrence
Ted Koszelak
Martin Tasker
David P. Silberstein
Ross Watkins
Kevin Stubbs
Dustin Pullman
Bobby Morden
PaulDiscDude
JBC
Spencer MacCuish
Don Olow
Chris Mozingo
PIGBAY
Mike Komondy
David Kiss
James Rodger
John Peterson
Oldman
Kingrat
Bob Kelso
Toney Sisk
Dave Devine
Wilbur, Pres.-Peoria Frisbee Club
Bob Fraser
Tim Dietz
Roman Northcote
Mike Slonim
Dennis Little
Mario Boessl
Jack Bradford/Australia
Dan Curtis
Stefan Hartwig
Joe Graham & Rick Bays
Scott
Rick and Dawn
Dawn Shears
J Jay
Joe Hewlett
Anton Sajovetz
Tony Jones
Mr. Goathead
Jody
Clint Eastland
Jim Silver
Lee Nelson
Geoff Chase
Robert Page
E-Mail me at will1213001@gmail.com with your
favorite disc golf excuses.
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